Mindful Parenting is about being fully present with your children without being overwhelmed with the pressures of life. Mindful Parenting helps you react to your children in a calm fashion with understanding of the present moment and reasons around the circumstances. When you are a Mindful Parent your child understands that he or she has your undivided attention, and you have his or hers when interacting with each other. Mindfulness changes your behavior and attitude towards your children. As a Mindful Parent you become less attached to outcomes and more mindful of what’s unfolding in your life and your children’s lives.
The first step to becoming mindful is to bring more awareness to your body in key moments. For example, ” Am I reacting or responding?” When you are not reacting, you can respond more thoughtfully taking into consideration all the circumstances of the situation.
Taking time to concentrate on your breathing is a very powerful technique. By bringing mindful attention to the breath while you are breathing, you are present in the moment. This is the first step in developing concentration. Try to practice ten minutes of mindful breathing:
- Find a comfortable posture. You can be sitting up in a chair, cross-legged on the floor, or even lying down. Keep your spine straight if you can (if you can’t, choose whatever posture suits you). Close your eyes if you want to.
This is an opportunity to be with whatever your experience is from moment to moment. This is a time for you. You don’t need to achieve anything. You don’t need to try too hard. You simply need to be with things as they are, as best you can, from moment to moment. Relax any obvious physical tensions if you can.
- Become aware of the sensations of breathing. Feel your breath going in and out of your nostrils, or passing through the back of your throat, or feel your chest or belly rising and falling. As soon as you have found a place where you can feel your breath comfortably, try to keep your attention there.
Your mind may start to wander into thoughts, ideas, dreams, fantasies and plans. That’s perfectly normal and absolutely fine. Just as soon as you notice that it’s happening, gently guide your attention back to your breath. Try not to criticize yourself each time your mind wanders away. Understand that it’s all part of the meditation process. If you find yourself criticizing or getting frustrated, try gently smiling when you see that your mind has wandered away. Then guide your attention back to your breath.
- Continue to stay with the meditation, without trying to change the depth or speed of your breathing.
- After ten minutes, gently open your eyes. (Note: You can set a non-ticking timer to help you with this exercise)
Some techniques towards Mindful Parenting:
Try to imagine the world from your child’s point of view, purposefully letting go of your own. Do this every day for at least a few moments to remind you of who this child is and what he or she faces in the world.
Practice seeing your children as perfect just the way they are. See if you can stay mindful and work at accepting them as they are when it is hardest for you to do so.
Be mindful of your expectations of your children and consider whether they are truly in your child’s best interest. Also, be aware of how you communicate those expectations and how they affect your children.
Practice putting the needs of your children above your own whenever possible. Then see if there isn’t some common ground, where your true needs can also be met. You may be surprised at how much overlap is possible, especially if you are patient and strive for balance.
When you feel lost, or at a loss, remember to stand still and meditate on the whole by bringing your full attention to the situation, to your child, to yourself, to the family.
